Blue Ribbon Best

Remember from my previous post that I like to set some “reasonably attainable” goals for my homeschooling and for other areas of my life. But I also think that we should have other loftier goals that will challenge us to grow that are not necessarily reasonably attainable, but likely attainable only through the strength that God gives.

With that in mind, I wanted to clue you in to a few bars that need to be raised in my life, call them resolutions if you like, but they are gifts that I plan to give my family this year.

The first gift I seek to give my family this year is giving my husband and my kids my best. I want to earn my first place blue ribbon in the category of putting my family first when I'm doling out my time, my talents and other resources.

Surely none of you moms have ever been guilty of being better prepared for co-ops or church ministry opportunities than you would be for your very own household or your very own school, but that is something I am still overcoming by God’s grace.

I’m far more accountable to people outside my home sometimes. When my children were younger and I rushed them or brushed them off to complete tasks for others, I recognized {not quite} immediately that something wasn’t right. It’s been a process and a choice that I have to make over and over, day after day, year after year.

Giving my best to my family does not mean I must give less than my best elsewhere in other activities. I still work with ministry outside the confines of my home and have obligations and responsibilities that I’ve committed to doing, but now those commitments are relegated to their rightful place in my schedule, which is after my responsibilities to my family are met. Sometimes it means getting up {far, far} earlier than I think is natural, but those whom God calls, he also equips.

Giving my family my best means I need to ask God how to structure my day to assure that my family gets the investment of the best of my time and talents that they deserve. If I’m giving my family the gift of my best, then I will devote time to organizing my calendar, my teaching, the care of my household and all other activities to His glory.

1 Cor. 10.31 So, whether you eat or drink or {encourage your husband or teach math or teach history or cook meals or do laundry}, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

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Reasonably Attainable

I’m not much into making New Year’s Resolutions because well, you know, they’re often pretty lofty and I set myself up for failure. I don’t like failure. So I’ve come to the conclusion that any goals I set must be reasonably attainable.

For instance, I will not set a goal of running four marathons this year because that would require, oh, what’s the word…. exercise! There I said it! Quick, somebody go get me a piece of chocolate to wash my mouth out with. Just kidding. I do exercise. Sometimes. Well, it’s been a while….but that’s not the point of this post, now is it?

I want to be a joyful homeschooler so I think I do need to have some type of goals. If I aim for the stars, then I might only hit the moon, but if I aim for nothing, I’ll hit that every time. So I set some goals.

And I’ll share some of my resolutions that are reasonably attainable because they might be for you too.

For 2012, with my homeschooling, I resolve to:

1) At least once a week, I will start school later than 8.30 am.

2) At least twice a month, we will have an unplanned meal in the car while on the go.

3) On most days, I will have school in the living room or dining room instead of the designated school room.

4) Every week in 2012, my homeschooling experience will be more joyful because I will rearrange my lesson plans to accommodate the lessons we missed the prior week.

5) For a more joyful homeschooling year in 2012, I will make sure to compare, whenever possible, the progress of my children in each subject with the progress of their friends, especially if they are not homeschoolers.

Those are a few of my easily attainable goals. I promise that I’ll keep every. single. one. of them.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55.8-9

But I do believe that there also should be some goals that challenge me, something that is not “reasonably” attainable but only attainable through God’s strength.

That’s why, even though Christmas and the gift-giving season are over, my commitment this year is to keep giving my kids gifts throughout the year. Check back in the next couple of days and I’ll tell you about the gifts I have up my sleeve for my family this year.

Do you have some goals for your homeschooling that will be reasonably attainable in 2012?

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An Extravagant Gift

Fourth grade was a long time ago for me. Forty-one years ago. But it wasn’t so long ago that I don’t remember the gift that year. The year was 1970 and Go Go Girls (not to be confused with GaGa) were all the rage with their long straight hair, miniskirts and tall white boots.



It was also the fall of that year that my dad was sent to prison. Moonshining did not carry a heavy penalty but it was a criminal act to not pay taxes on his sales, so my dad was sentenced to six months in a minimum security facility. Six months of his life meant six months away from his wife and three little girls, of which I was the oldest at the age of nine.

I’m sure my mom was more than a little anxious about how her family would survive. Our house had three rooms, no indoor plumbing, no telephone, a coal heater and was miles up a “holler” away from civilization and even an hour away from her closest relatives. Life was already hard, but now she wouldn’t have any help.

Our basic needs were met and I’m sure government assistance played a part in that. As a little girl, I had no clue the hardship because we were loved and I can’t remember ever being hungry. But it was late fall, and Christmas was on its way.

Honestly, I don’t remember too much about that event in the life of our family, but I do recall getting a huge package that year under the tree. Have you ever had a big package? I can only imagine my eyes as a nine year old, unwrapping a three foot tall very fashionable Go Go girl doll. It seemed so extravagant.

It wasn’t until I was grown that I found out where our gifts came from that year. Remember my dad was sent to prison? For him to be sent to prison, there had to be a prosecutor, someone who presented a body of evidence to prove my dad’s guilt. The prosecuting attorney compiled the evidence and convinced the judge and jury that my dad had indeed broken the law. Someone had to pay.

As an adult I was talking about remembering that extravagant gift I received that year and my mom reminded the information that had somehow escaped me as a child. The very one who ensured my dad was convicted, the prosecutor, also made sure there was a way for our family to celebrate Christmas that year.

The prosecutor’s motivation for doing that was never revealed to me. Even though I grew up and ended up working at the sheriff’s office at the courthouse (oh the irony for someone with my family background), I never got to meet him. Whatever the reason for blessing our family that year, he truly was a blessing, giving us three little girls such extravagant gifts.

And now as an adult looking back on that event, it is to me on some level a picture of what God did for us when He gave us such an extravagant gift in sending His Son Jesus to us.

God, who is holy and perfect, presents the Standard to which none of us could measure up. Evidence of our sin and guilt is apparent when held up to the light of His holiness and righteousness. We have no righteousness in front of Him. Because of our sin and guilt, a sentence has to be served. Someone had to pay for the wrongs that we have done.

Just as the prosecuting attorney sealed my dad’s conviction, then made a way for the little girls to have gifts, so God, whose very existence and character have convicted us, has given a gift that we celebrate each Christmas season. And it truly is an extravagant gift. A precious son who was born to take on the all the sin of all of us in the world - crushing, painful sin that separated Him for a period of time from His father.

As with all human analogies, this one breaks down pretty quickly, so I don’t know if I would even call it an analogy, maybe just a few parallels. It’s just that the generosity of the prosecutor was an act that reminded me how much more God has done that for us.

And if that’s not clear to you, let me continue. Because He is holy and righteous and because we are not, we need an extravagant gift of grace to be able to have relationship with God. Each Christmas those of us who are Christians celebrate the arrival of that package, that extravagant gift. I’m sure you all know that Jesus’ birth is the reason for celebrating Christmas. But what was the reason for His birth?




The reason for His birth was to bridge that gap between God’s holiness and our sinfulness. The payment came in the form of Jesus, not simply by his birth, but decades later from His sacrificial death on a wooden cross to shed blood that would pay for our sins. All sins that have been committed, are now being committed and will be committed. He paid for it already.



And that payment, that extravagant gift, leaves us with a glaring decision. We need to decide what to do with that extravagant gift. I’m sure when I received that 3 foot tall Go Go doll that I didn’t ignore it and I certainly didn’t ask to return it. I’m sure my eyes were wide and that I accepted that gift. I used that gift as it was intended.

I’ve done the same and accepted the extravagant gift that God has offered. A verse that will be familiar to many of you and that many of us learned growing up speaks of this gift. Probably even many of your children know it. It’s one of the things we used to whisper to our kids when we tucked them into bed.

John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him would not perish but have everlasting life.

What a gift! And also what a decision you must make as you celebrate this season. You must decide if you will accept this gift of being rescued. Will you choose to believe that He’s given His life and choose to accept that gift so that you can spend eternity with God?

I pray that is your choice. And I pray that if you have already accepted this wondrous gift that you will join me in telling others of this extravagant gift. Because the gift of Jesus is far more precious than any other gift you could give your children, your relatives, your neighbors or your friends, and it is for sure more precious than any Go Go doll could ever be, no matter if she is 3 ft tall!

Upon Every Remembrance

In no particular order: My wedding day. The births and adoption of my children. My dad. My son, Jonathan. My mom becoming a Christian when I was eleven, thus the family being introduced to church. Walking from our previous house in Youngsville across the street to Hillridge Farms pulling my (then preschooler, now adult) little girls in a red wagon. Being a soccer mom/drama class mom/volleyball mom/basketball mom/football mom.

“One Thousand Gifts” is author Ann Voskamp’s designation for “counting your blessings.” In her book of the same title, Ann tells of finding herself in circumstances where she must choose to be grateful when gratitude might be the furthest thought from her mind. Making this choice leads her to reflect daily on the gifts for which she is thankful. From the everyday 513. Boys jiggling blue Jell-O to the extraordinary 783. Forgiveness of a sister, she lists the gifts one by one.

Of course, reading this wondrous prose that Ann has penned prompts me to reflect (not nearly as much as I should) on the gifts that have permeated my life. One of the most precious blessings that increases in value as I increase in age (remember I’m fifty now) is that of sweet memories.

Just as Paul writes to the Roman colony of Philippi in Philippians 1.3 “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” so do I have many people and events who have permanent reservations in my memory. Well, as permanent as anything can be in a temporary earthly home. I know someday those memories I cherish will fade, but now they are vivid. And for that I am very thankful.

Remembering Sunday afternoon hikes in the mountains of West Virginia with my dad puts a smile on my face. He passed away when I was twenty-two. Just hearing the name Jonathan causes a grin to grace my face, but also a tear to well up in my eye. I remember my son who would have been giving me six-year old hugs today had he lived. I thank my God upon every remembrance.

Making (savory and delicious) mudpies with my sisters up the holler when we were little. My husband, Michael, putting his arm around my waist for the first time when we were at the mall, making me blush. My mom stitching every seam in my wedding dress, then nearly being late for my wedding because she decided at the last minute to make herself a skirt to wear. Meeting my in-laws for the first time and simultaneously being teased but immediately welcomed. Upon every remembrance, I thank God.

If gratitude has been an elusive pattern in your life, then have I got good news for you. November is a month in which our entire nation is reminded to enter into Thanksgiving, so you’ll have many reminders. And may I suggest that you start your own list of One Thousand Gifts and maybe you can begin that list by recalling sweet moments thanking God upon every remembrance.

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To Be a Mommy

(Article written for the MOPS of North Wake October 2010 newsletter)

“Mom, what does it feel like to be a mommy?” Four-year old Sarah sincerely looked up at me. Holding her chubby little fingers in one hand and five-year old Candace’s hand in my other hand as we walked along, tears welled up unexpectedly in my eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.

How does a mom answer a question like that? In a way that a four-year old can understand? As the current cliché goes, my heart was full in that moment.

Could I possibly explain how I often feel like my children are connected to my very soul? Could I convey the depth of my love, so deep that I can’t even seem to comprehend the complexity of it? It’s a love that truly knows no boundaries.

Would she understand that my life is no longer my own and that I’m thoroughly thrilled about that? I have lovingly laid my life subserviently but willingly on the altar of motherhood. Unless she comprehends that half of the equation, then she won’t understand my occurrences of selfishly grabbing the sacrificed life back before once again laying it down.

How will I expound emotions and feelings that are at opposite ends of the spectrum? Overjoyed one minute, then stressed and facing feelings of incompetence the next.

The only answer I had for Sarah that day as I looked down at her and smiled: “It’s the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever known.” It was an honest answer. And a short answer. It was enough for a four year old.

All of you who are mothers will understand my dilemma in that moment and my inadequate response. There is just no utterance that will encapsulate how it feels to be a mommy.

The only way you truly know how it feels to be a mommy is to….well…..be a mommy. Sarah is now married and due to give birth to her first child, my first grandchild, in January. (He’s a boy.)

Wait a minute! Didn’t I just say she was four? Oh, yeah, that was yesterday. Today she is just weeks away from finding the answer to her question.

She will get to experience MOPS in a way that she couldn’t when she was a preschooler in MOPPETS in 1994 or as a helper in the classes for many years thereafter.

She will know fully what Momology is, and with simply a smile between you and her, the common bond of motherhood ensures that you will completely get each other.
She will find that being a mommy gives her an instant community, especially in a MOPS group where the binding of mothering leaves little room for our differences to come between us.

I’m so excited for all you who are joining us this MOPS year, just as I’m excited for Sarah. You’ll make friends so you won’t have to journey the mothering path alone. You will encourage each other. You will challenge each other.

You’ll hear speakers who will teach you more about the practical aspects of your path as well as pointing you to spiritual hope and purpose.

As for Sarah, she will finally know what all moms at MOPS already know. She will know, just like you know, the unspeakable joy, the incomprehensible love, the experiences that cannot be conveyed with mere words. She will know, just like you know, just like I know, exactly what it feels like to be a mommy.

Where Dreams Come True

A real vacation! Not the kind where the family tags along on a business trip. My husband finally got to take a real vacation! We decided on Disney World, Where Dreams Come True, the sister park to Disneyland, The Happiest Place on Earth.

We had a delightful week in May visiting all the parks. Scoring the Disney dining plan for free was quite the bonus! All seemed right with the world.

Until he got the email on Thursday night. That email…the one from his office that announced his department was being dissolved and that there would be layoffs. Since my husband was the head of his department, and had not been privy to the planning of this development, he knew right away what that meant.

Enjoying our last day at Disney was a goal that seemed easy at times, elusive at others. (But did I mention the dining plan? Two meals plus two snacks per person provided each day, just for the ordering. I don’t think we’ll ever go to Disney again without it. The Strawberry Shortcake Sundae at Mrs. Pott’s Cupboard went a long way towards alleviating anxiety.)

Questions, though, were at the forefront of our minds. Kind of important questions like: When will this change take effect? When will we get the last paycheck? What other opportunities are available at this stage of life? Will we need to move for work? Are there any other expenses we can cut?

We had to wait until the following week when we returned to NC to find out some of the answers. Walk faster….Mrs. Pott’s Cupboard is just around the corner.

There were some questions, however, to which we unequivocally knew the answers: Do we still love each other? Is our family healthy and together? Do we have a supportive network of friends and family? Do we have freedom to make choices for the good of our family? Is God still God?

So much unknown loomed before us, but so much of the known was looming larger.

These were not exactly the dreams we were hoping would come true when we mapped our life’s journey. Our plan was much more stable and predictable, and would give us a measure of security.

Now we don’t have that. Fortunately, another job offer has been received, and although it is in the same general field, it is an entirely different type of job. It’s a job that may not provide the consistency we’re accustomed to having, and it might not have a predictable and steady income. It might not give us security we crave.

But….we live in America! We live in a country where dreams come true.
We have options. They might not always be ones we like, but there are options that we have the freedom to choose nonetheless.

Sometimes those options look like an explosion to rock our little world. Sometimes, though, the option is a blessing in disguise where the potential is enormous.

Will this be an option where dreams come true? It’s inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. We have been blessed beyond that which we deserve and our dreams for the things that really matter have already been realized.


Philippians 4.19

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

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But How Will I Live?

“Mom, how will I die?” Joshua, then barely five years old, asked as I was tucking him into bed. With all the honesty and confidence a startled mom could muster, I replied, “I don’t know.”

(Before you are concerned about one so young worrying about dying, just know that our family had recently held death in our hands so it was heavy on his mind.)





Snuggling even closer and not wanting to leave it at that, especially at bedtime, I continued the conversation. “You know, Josh, there’s no way you can really know how you’re going to die, but there is something more important about life that you can decide. You get to choose how you will live.”

I went on to explain how none of us usually have the choice about how we die, but the choice about how we will live is completely ours.

Will I live my life for fun and pleasure, for that which seemingly brings me a measure of happiness? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I’d rather sit and watch Survivor than do anything productive.

Sometimes I’d rather sit and stare out the window watching the chickens (now doesn’t that sound quaint) than do the work that is on my kitchen counter. Yes, sometimes I’m lazy.

Sometimes I ignore issues with my kids because addressing those things will require time and thought (and prayer!) on my part. Sometimes I pay the consequences of that choice.

Sometimes I’d rather stay at home all day, avoiding any meaningful interactions with people outside my family. Relationships with other people can get pretty messy. Sometimes.

Most of the time, though, I remember that I live my life for a higher purpose, a purpose given to me by God. So most of the time, I will push through the tedious tasks on my schedule for the day, because I choose to have joy in serving my family.

Most of the time I will realize that I’ve been watching the chickens too long and go do the dishes and even cook for my family.

Most of the time I will stop whatever I am doing to instruct or encourage one of my children. Most of the time I reap the benefits of that choice.

Most of the time I will choose to intentionally invest in the lives of others, to volunteer, to get involved with society in general, even if it gets messy. Most of the time I’m the one who is more blessed by that investment.

Death - be it by water, fire, cancer, car accident, crime victim, whatever - it’s not really up to me. But how will I live? How will you live? That is completely a choice each of us will make for ourselves.


Galatians 2.20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.




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Does Anyone Know?

(A guest post for the blog at Re:Vision North Carolina)


Walking through my local big box store, I see the United States flag all around. Is it really “what so proudly we hailed” if it’s in the form of a bikini top or swim trunks? At $5, I did have to buy my son some swim trunks. I figured they were colorful and I could easily spot him in the crowd. Seeing all the flag paraphernalia, though, made me wonder.



Does anyone know what is significant about June 14? Anyone? Anyone? Ok, well, it’s not usually a day off work or anything, but it is one of the observances I learned about as a kid. It’s Flag Day!

I remember spending significant time in elementary social studies (a few weeks is significant time in elementary school) learning about the flag: appropriate handling, appropriate display, appropriate storage, and appropriate disposal. Education about the flag included the history and a few legends.

One particular legendary quote remains somehow tucked in the crevices of my grey matter. From the poem Barbara Frietchie by John Greenleaf Whittier:

“Shoot, if you must, this old gray head, But spare your country's flag," she said.

Purportedly, 96 year old Barbara Frietchie boldly said those words to Stonewall Jackson after proudly displaying the flag from her attic window and Jackson’s Confederate troops had just shot the banner at his command. At risk of her own life, Frietchie would not stand for disrespect of the Union flag!

It used to be that wearing the flag on items such as those I saw at the store would be considered disrespect and desecration. There’s still a little, a very little, debate about the appropriateness of wearing the flag. I can remember when I was a teen in the 70’s that a young man was arrested for wearing a shirt made from flag fabric.

Apparently, societal shifts have brought social acceptance to wearing flag apparel. Covering oneself in the Stars and Stripes is now viewed as patriotic rather than disrespectful. T-shirts with the American flag would make me feel well-dressed at July 4th activities (and on Flag Day for that matter!)

But does anyone know the Standards of Respect due the American Flag?

Some instruction in the etiquette of the American flag, according to www.usaflag.org:

The flag should never be dipped to any person or thing. It is flown upside down only as a distress signal.

When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object; it should be received by waiting hands and arms.
To store the flag it should be folded neatly and ceremoniously.

The flag of the United States of America should be at the center and at the highest point of the group when a number of flags of states, localities, or societies are grouped for display.

When used to cover a casket, the flag should be placed with the union at the head and over the left shoulder. It should not be lowered into the grave.

I don’t remember all the Standards of Respect from my social studies class, but I did remember today is Flag Day. So, tell someone you know that today is Flag Day. Your friends just might not know.


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Check Point

Instinctively I hit the brakes! The next step was to look at my speedometer. Whew! I’m not speeding….this time. Really I’m not speeding most of the time. Well, not too much….you know, the “too much” where you cross the “absolute” line that will get you a ticket. What is that line, something like four miles over the speed limit? (Don’t tell me if it’s more....I’ll stick with four.)

I love policemen, especially since I have friends who are policemen, so why do I have the same reaction every time I see a police car when I’m driving?

Instead of getting nervous, though, I need to remember that the police car sitting in the median is more of a reminder for me. And since all people need reminders from time to time, the goal is accomplished merely by the policeman’s presence. See the police car, check my speed. Good to go.

Seeing the policeman the other day made me wonder about other check points I might have or might need in my life.

That’s why I have a daily time reading my Bible. That’s my spiritual check point. I am a forgetful woman. It could have something to do with having kids….I can’t remember. Daily reading is a great check point for me to check my speed, check my direction, check to see if I’m still on the right road.

Deuteronomy 8.11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.


I also think I need a civic check point. I can tell you the last time I read through the United States Constitution. That would have been September of 2006 when one of my older daughters, Sarah, then a junior in high school, audited an American Government class at a local college. She needed help analyzing the Constitution the first week, so we dissected it together.

But I am forgetful. I think I could quote the preamble (thank you Schoolhouse Rock!) but I only remember a couple of the “famous” amendments from the rest of the document. It’s not that I don’t care. Like I said, I’m forgetful. And busy.

How else, though, am I going to know if and why I agree or disagree with politicians’ actions? How will I know to be concerned about their actions? How will I know when we as a state or nation have crossed the line? Or when I as an individual have crossed the line?

Reviewing our governing documents would serve us all well. I just showed my younger children the Schoolhouse Rock Preamble on YouTube. I will also go to the Tools link on the Re:Vision North Carolina website to review our founding documents for myself and do a better job of passing that information on to my kids.

I want to set up my own check point, and not wait until I see a reminder waiting in the median.



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