Turning 21 is a milestone! The parents and the child have all survived (albeit sometimes barely) the teen saga, and life starts to make a little more sense….a little more. Direction may or may not be there, but the foundations of who you are and who you will be have been laid. This is how parents view this milestone.
Taking those foundations for granted, though, could be a mistake. Our oldest daughter, who is also our oldest child, turned 21 this week. We are planning a nice family dinner to celebrate whenever it works it her schedule.
What I didn’t realize, though, until now, is how her peers view this milestone. My daughter mentioned to me about how many of her friends have asked her if she planned to get drunk to celebrate. In their view, she is now of legal age to do this, so it is a rite of passage. (And as is the case of some of them, she is old enough to buy alcohol to pass along to them, her underage friends.) She then proceeded to tell me how stupid she thought that was.
She came home confused last night by the gift she received from two of her Christian friends….a Tic-Tac-Toe drinking game set that involves shot glasses with X’s and O’s. I have to admit I was confused too, and I want to point out that she arrived home early and sober.
Had I known this was the prevailing attitude towards turning 21, I would have given her warning. Had I known, I could have been praying specifically for her protection and the protection of her friends through this time. But she did great even without my warning. And although extra prayers never hurt, she did great by praying for strength and wisdom on her own.
She thinks because she has a very difficult time in her college classes that she’s not smart. I think she is one of the wisest 21 year olds I know to recognize the folly of poor choices at any age.
I am proud of my daughter.
Taking those foundations for granted, though, could be a mistake. Our oldest daughter, who is also our oldest child, turned 21 this week. We are planning a nice family dinner to celebrate whenever it works it her schedule.
What I didn’t realize, though, until now, is how her peers view this milestone. My daughter mentioned to me about how many of her friends have asked her if she planned to get drunk to celebrate. In their view, she is now of legal age to do this, so it is a rite of passage. (And as is the case of some of them, she is old enough to buy alcohol to pass along to them, her underage friends.) She then proceeded to tell me how stupid she thought that was.
She came home confused last night by the gift she received from two of her Christian friends….a Tic-Tac-Toe drinking game set that involves shot glasses with X’s and O’s. I have to admit I was confused too, and I want to point out that she arrived home early and sober.
Had I known this was the prevailing attitude towards turning 21, I would have given her warning. Had I known, I could have been praying specifically for her protection and the protection of her friends through this time. But she did great even without my warning. And although extra prayers never hurt, she did great by praying for strength and wisdom on her own.
She thinks because she has a very difficult time in her college classes that she’s not smart. I think she is one of the wisest 21 year olds I know to recognize the folly of poor choices at any age.
I am proud of my daughter.
2 comments:
thanks for sharing, Sylvia... I appreciated what you said about "Had I known... I would have prayed..." I appreciate the wisdom you've shared-- your daughter's, and yours.
You have reason to be proud of her.
Wisdom and discernment aren't common in that age group, as the friends' gift shows.
<><
Beth
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